Summary: In the following fifteen-part series, we’ll look at the Foundations of Leadership and how to implement them personally, in family situations, in your community, and at work. The first Foundation is Emotional Intelligence.

When we look at leadership and its history, some leaders emerge with charisma, strategy, and vision as hallmarks of their style. These are absolute leadership traits, but a newer trait, called Emotional Intelligence, is making its way into leadership toolboxes as a necessity. Emotional Intelligence, or EI, is the Intelligence Quotient of social activity. Because members of today’s groups, families, communities, and corporations have a great sense of independence and a need for empowerment, leaders must act in a way that promotes authority and management while allowing for participation and empowerment. An emotionally intelligent leader knows when to exercise authority, when to allow participation, and when to keep his or her ideas, feelings, and emotions private.

Emotional intelligence relies on the ability to act maturely in leadership situations, and not just relying on charisma, instinct, or pure knowledge. A leader with emotional intelligence can look objectively at him or herself and make style adjustments that consider the environment, the group members, and the overall goal of the organization. But how can a leader practice emotionally intelligent behaviors?

One of the first ways to practice is to ask for feedback on how you’ve handled a situation, conversation, or conflict. Some leaders ask for opinions from colleagues, members of the group they are leading, and even superiors. With this information, a leader can see which behaviors worked - and which ones didn’t. Your hindsight, armed with this information, can show you how your actions moved the organization forward - or kept it from doing so. Another way to lead with EI is to create a participative environment, as opposed to an autocratic environment. For example, if you’re accustomed to making decisions alone, start meeting with your group to solicit opinions and ideas before making a decision. When you and your group become very comfortable, you can leave some decisions to the group itself.

You can also make sure every one is self-aware, starting with yourself. In the past few years, 360-degree feedback programs have become very popular in corporate organizations. You, as a leader, are asked to rate yourself in various behaviors - and members of your group are asked to rate you in the same behaviors, as well. The comparison between self-awareness and reality can definitely make a difference in your EI. Be aware of how you handle change, as well. An emotionally intelligent leader will accept change, become aware of its benefits, and champion the change with the group. On the other hand, a leader who acts without EI may criticize the change or just insist that the group go along with it. This isn’t to say that you shouldn’t accept criticism of change from the group - it simply means that you can either redirect an inappropriate criticism or suggest that the person making it turns it into a constructive solution.

The further question becomes how to implement emotionally intelligent action in various areas, including personal, family, community, and corporate situations. The personal side of EI can be the most difficult - you must look at yourself and your actions. For example, if you have a disagreement with a spouse or partner, you’ll have to take the focus off of your anger with the other person - and put it on your actions. How did your actions inflame the situation? What did you say that made your spouse or partner angry? Translate this scenario into a family situation: if the disagreement is with children, ask your spouse or partner for feedback on how you handled the situation. Were you angry to the point that the children actually noticed it? Another way to act with emotional intelligence in family situations is to try a participative stance. Ask the entire family to join in on decision-making and consensus. In relation to community activity, one of the most powerful actions an emotionally intelligent leader can take is to build relationships. How do the people in the group interact with each other? Who needs what from whom? Not only should you build relationships for your own benefit, but you can also build relationships in order to be a connector. You’ll be remembered for creating cohesion instead of working against it.

Think for a moment about corporate leadership. All of the ways to act with emotional intelligence in other areas of your life are applicable at work - you can take a systematic approach and implement each type of action with your work group. When you do, you’ll see that you quickly rise above the crowd.